If you and your spouse both enjoy working out, teaming up for shared fitness sessions can feel like a natural fit. It combines quality time with the pursuit of health, which sounds like a win-win. But what happens when a little friendly competition enters the mix? While some couples find competition motivating, others might notice that it complicates their workouts and their relationship dynamics.

The truth is that introducing competition into your fitness routine as a couple has both potential benefits and drawbacks. The key is finding the right balance so the experience strengthens not only your bodies but also your bond.

The Benefits of Competitive Workouts

For many people, competition adds a spark to their workout routine, making it more engaging and inspiring. Here’s how it can enhance your experience when hitting the gym or the trail with your spouse.

1. Boosts Motivation

A little rivalry can push you to go farther, lift heavier, or move faster than you would on your own. Friendly challenges, like who can run a longer distance or do more push-ups in a set, often bring out your competitive spirit and encourage you to aim higher. When you work out with your spouse, this motivation comes with the added benefit of shared encouragement. You’re not just competing; you’re spurring each other on to be your best.

2. Makes Workouts More Fun

For some couples, competition creates a playful energy during workouts, turning potentially monotonous activities into an enjoyable shared experience. When done right, it feels less like “working out” and more like a fun, active way to spend time together. This kind of positive dynamic can make it easier to stick to a fitness routine long-term.

3. Strengthens Your Relationship

Sharing a challenge, like completing a tough workout or beating a previous personal best, can create opportunities for teamwork and support. Even if one of you “wins,” the effort you put in together builds trust, camaraderie, and mutual appreciation. Plus, studies show that working out together often strengthens emotional bonds, as shared physical activity releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin.

The Drawbacks of Competitive Workouts

While competition can add excitement, it can also create tension if it’s not approached thoughtfully. Not every couple thrives on rivalry, and some dynamics can inadvertently lead to stress rather than support. Here are a few common pitfalls to consider:

1. Mismatched Fitness Levels

If one partner is significantly stronger, faster, or more experienced than the other, competition may feel uneven or even demoralizing. For the more experienced partner, holding back to avoid “winning” too easily might feel awkward. For the less experienced one, trying to keep up can lead to frustration or negative self-talk. Either way, the workout risks feeling less fun and more like a source of pressure.

2. Risk of Resentment

Competition works best when both people are on board, but it can turn sour if one person becomes overly competitive or focused on “beating” the other. Jealousy, irritation, or perceived criticism can creep into what should be a positive experience, especially if workouts start to feel like an extension of unresolved relationship dynamics.

3. Losing Sight of Individual Goals

Not everyone has the same fitness priorities. If one partner loves measuring performance—tracking pace, reps, or weight lifted—while the other focuses on mindful movement or relaxation, prioritizing competition can leave someone feeling undervalued. It’s important to remember that individual fitness goals should never be sacrificed for the sake of winning a challenge.

Tips for Competitive Workouts That Support Your Relationship

To reap the benefits of competitive workouts while avoiding potential pitfalls, couples need to strike the right balance. Here are some strategies to ensure friendly rivalry doesn’t undermine your connection or your fitness goals.

1. Communicate About Your Goals

Before jumping into competitive workouts, have an honest conversation about what both of you hope to achieve from your fitness routine. Are you working out to boost energy, improve health, or de-stress? Does competition help you feel motivated or add unwanted pressure? Aligning your priorities upfront—whether that includes competition or not—helps ensure a positive experience for both of you.

2. Set Ground Rules Together

If you decide to introduce some competition, establish clear guidelines that keep it enjoyable and lighthearted. You might agree that trash-talk stays playful or that the “loser” of a challenge gets to pick the next activity. Establishing boundaries helps both partners feel respected and ensures workouts remain a safe space.

3. Focus on Personal Bests

Instead of framing challenges as you vs. them, focus on both of you trying to beat your personal bests. You could set individual milestones, like improving how long you can hold a plank, and celebrate progress together. Shifting the focus to personal improvement adds an element of competition without pitting you against each other.

4. Mix Competition With Collaboration

Balance competitive workouts with activities that emphasize partnership. Try tandem exercises like medicine ball passes, resistance band stretches, or running side by side at a pace that works for both of you. Shared goals like training for a fun race or completing a fitness class can bring just as much satisfaction as “winning.”

5. Celebrate Wins and Effort Equally

When one of you performs better on a particular challenge, celebrate their achievement—but don’t neglect to applaud the other’s effort and progress. Acknowledging both partners’ hard work ensures mutual encouragement and avoids the feeling of one-upmanship.

6. Know When To Hit Pause

If competition starts to cause tension or make workouts feel less enjoyable, take a step back. There’s no rule that says you have to compete to have fun together. Some couples thrive on teamwork without any competitive element, and that’s just as valid a way to approach shared fitness.

Finding What Works For You

There’s no right or wrong approach. What matters most is that your fitness routine leaves both of you feeling positive—not just about your physical progress but also about each other.