Talking about money at work can feel tricky, right? You want to advocate for yourself without coming across as demanding—or worse, putting anyone on the defensive. The good news is, it’s absolutely possible to ask for a raise in a non-confrontational way and still walk away with the outcome you’re hoping for. Whether it’s your first time asking or you’ve tried before without success, here’s your no-stress guide to preparing for and having a productive conversation about getting the raise you deserve.

Why Asking for a Raise Is Normal

First off, remind yourself that asking for a raise isn’t awkward or out of line—it’s a natural part of your career growth. Your contributions have value, and most employers expect these conversations to happen periodically. They won’t read your mind, though, so it’s up to you to bring it up. The key is approaching the topic in a way that feels professional, well-thought-out, and positive.

Now, let's break this down step by step so you feel ready to tackle it without any unnecessary stress.

1. Pick the Right Timing

Timing is everything. Don’t spring your request on your manager out of the blue or when they’re juggling a million things. Instead, pay attention to their workload and mood. Ideally, you want to schedule this conversation during a calm period—post-performance review, after finishing a major project, or at the end of a strong quarter for the company.

Another great time to ask is when you’ve just accomplished something noteworthy. Did you take the lead on a big project? Bring in a new client? Exceed your targets? Strike while the iron is hot, and your achievements are fresh in everyone’s mind.

2. Do Your Homework

Before you go in, put together a clear case for why you deserve a raise. Start with research. Look into the average salary for your role, experience level, and location. Sites like Glassdoor, Payscale, or LinkedIn can help you find this information. Be prepared to cite numbers so it’s clear that your request isn’t coming out of nowhere—it’s based on industry standards.

Then, think about your specific contributions. What have you done recently that added value to your workplace? Have you exceeded expectations, taken on additional responsibilities, or introduced ideas that improved processes? Write these down. Numbers and tangible results (like saving money, increasing efficiency, or boosting revenue) are your best friends in this discussion.

3. Plan Your Messaging

It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. Framing your request positively is a huge part of keeping the conversation non-confrontational. Start by focusing on the value you bring to the team and how you’ve grown in your role.

For example, instead of saying, “I need more money,” try something like, “Over the past year, I’ve taken on additional responsibilities and achieved [specific accomplishment]. I’d like to discuss adjusting my compensation to reflect the value I’m bringing to the team.”

By positioning yourself as a contributor rather than someone dissatisfied with their current pay, you keep things constructive and forward-looking.

4. Practice, Practice, Practice

It might sound silly, but practicing what you’re going to say can make all the difference. Rehearse your main points in front of a mirror, with a friend, or even by recording yourself. This can help you iron out any awkward phrasing and build confidence before the actual conversation.

Make sure you’re prepared to manage your tone, too. Stay calm, polite, and professional throughout. Even if the conversation veers in a direction you weren’t expecting, maintaining a composed demeanor will keep it on track.

5. Schedule a Meeting

Once you’re ready, schedule a meeting specifically for this conversation. Don’t try to tackle it at the end of a regular check-in or team meeting. A dedicated time slot shows that you’re taking this request seriously and want their full attention.

When you make the request, keep it simple. Something like, “I’d love to set up some time to discuss my contributions to the team and my future here,” is perfect. It’s professional without putting pressure on your manager.

6. Prepare for Objections

Not every request for a raise gets an immediate “yes,” and that’s okay. Be ready for pushback or questions, and don’t take it personally—it’s part of the process.

If your manager raises concerns, listen carefully and respond thoughtfully. For example, if they mention budget constraints, ask if there are other ways they can begin addressing your compensation, like a smaller raise now with the potential for a larger one later. You can also ask about additional perks like professional development opportunities, flexible scheduling, or bonuses.

Most importantly, if the answer is a firm “no,” ask for clarity about what you can improve to revisit the conversation in the future. A simple, “I understand—can we discuss specific goals I can work toward to make this happen?” shows that you’re committed to growth and willing to meet expectations.

7. Stay Positive

Regardless of the outcome, keep the conversation positive and professional. Thank your manager for their time, and express your excitement about continuing to contribute to the team. A gracious attitude leaves the door open for future discussions and reinforces your reputation as a team player.

8. Don’t Be Afraid to Follow Up

If you’ve been given specific goals or a timeline to revisit the conversation, make sure to follow up. Set reminders for yourself to check in and track your progress. This shows initiative and reinforces that you’re serious about earning that raise.

If after a reasonable amount of time things don’t move forward despite hitting your goals, it’s worth reevaluating whether this is the right workplace for your career growth. Remember, advocating for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

At the end of the day, asking for a raise is about knowing your worth and communicating it respectfully. Remember, advocating for yourself is a skill that gets easier with practice.